Just Somebody That I Used To Know?

Sad Dragon

Yesterday I read a very sad post by Mushan about an old guildie of his. It struck a deep chord with me as I too have lost touch with people from old guilds that I used to spend all day with & I have no idea what ever happened to them. I have no reason to believe anything terrible has happened but I'll never know & that's the crappy part of online friendships!

But even deeper than that, it took me back to one of my main worries last year when I had my cancer. I have some wonderful & very close friends online but none of my family have a clue who they are. What if something bad happened during my operation? How would my friends find out where I had disappeared too? It was a big worry at the time but of course, with hindsight, it was just a worry. I did actually leave a name & phone number with the nurse but I don't think she really understood how important it was to me. I know she was being reassuring by telling me she wouldn't need it but that didn't help! lol

Around the same time, something happened on one of my stock photography sites - a contributor (photographer) died, leaving a large portfolio of work on the site which was still earning money. His family also had no idea of his online activities and it was only chance & a good management team at the stock site that worked out the legalities for them.

Mushan's post got me thinking again - I have multiple online personalities, split between my gaming, my photography, my crafts, my writing & my general friends - am I being big-headed to think they would want to know what happened if I just disappeared? I don't think so. I know how I feel when someone I consider friend or even just a regular online acquaintance stops appearing on my twitter feed or drops me on Facebook. I wonder if they are ok, then I start to wonder if it was something I did or said to upset them. Yes, eventually I stop worrying so much but it still niggles sometimes!

I'm facing another operation in the next few months so it's probably a timely reminder for me to get my stuff in order, just in case. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine but there's always that tiny little bit of doubt & this time, I'm going to do something about it! I'm not sure quite what though! I'm definitely going to put my login & passwords for my social sites in a safe place and probably put a few special contact names in there too. That's just for my online stuff, obviously I have to sort the rest of my pile of crap out too - my desk looks like an explosion in a paper factory most of the time and I wouldn't want my Mum to have to sort through it.

I know this seems kind of maudlin, but actually I'm not. I feel this is a positive thing to do. It's one less worry & once it's done, I don't have to do it again any time soon! It's just getting my affairs in order but in a very modern sense. My parents have had an 'if something happens' folder since I was a child & I guess now I'm beginning to grasp why. They obviously had us kids to worry about but almost all their friends were in the same circle & would have heard any news very quickly. It's so different these days with friends all over the world, some very special to me indeed, but they may never hear any news of the worst was to happen.

I can't be the only one who's thought like this though!  Have you? What did you decide to do?

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Yet Another To Do List!

It's been a while since I did a to-do list post & actually, it shows in my in-game progress! I'm not sure I've achieved anything worthwhile since I stopped doing these list posts except for the pet battle achievements maybe. There's something about making it public that kind of obligates me to get some of it done at least and of course, gives me something to write about here & over at AH Addict!

I even gave myself a public to do list over there today - I've been slacking off that much lately. It's not that I don't enjoy the game once I'm logged in, it's more that I get so occupied doing other stuff that I don't make the effort to log in very often. Which is kind of silly really as I'm paying my subscription after all & let's face it, Facebook & Mahjong solitaire aren't exactly stimulating now, are they?

So, this week I'm determined to get something at least started if not completed!

• Warrior/Blacksmith - get her out of the city & go do some stuff - preferably get the Lightning Steel Ingot thingy & start learning some of the Plate PvP crafted items - this one crosses with my gold based list so will be able to cross off 2 things if I get this done!
• Warlock/Engineer - she's also been abandoned in Ironforge for months! She's mid 50's level (I think!) so I should try to get her to Outland at least
• Rogue & Hunter are both level 86 (via pet battles & cooking) so I'll probably use both of them to pet battle some more & add some XP to their bars
• Take my Paladin main over to the Barrens & at least have a look at all that stuff before it disappears!

There's loads of stuff I could add but I'm trying to make it a manageable list not a pipe dream! There's loads of achieves I don't have yet, mounts & reputations to work towards, dungeons, scenarios & raids I've never even seen & that's just from earlier expansions! I think I've just about given up trying to do everything that's available in Mists - I shouldn't complain but there's just too much stuff to do now! It makes my head spin & I know I'm not the only one who just doesn't quite know which bits to do first!

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That Sinking Feeling

The thing about being a survivor of depression - is that I've become hyper-aware of myself, my moods & bits of my body. Being female, I can write off some of my mood swings to hormones but when the silliest little thing can spoil a whole day and hormones can't be blamed, then I start trying to analyse the last few weeks. Have I been like this a lot? Is this the start of a downward trend? Was that little bump there before?

Yes, I've had a pretty shitty & stressful week but actually I think I've coped quite well with that - it's all purely practical & physical stuff - cars breakdown, companies send the wrong parts etc. No, this is different - this is moods & emotions going awry - getting upset over stupid, inconsequential things like conversations that just stop, messages that never get a response, withdrawing from previously enjoyed activities because I just don't want to join in right now.

It's strange though because yesterday was a fab day - I got so much done & it felt great. This morning I wake up & even though the sun is shining, it's a dark, bleak day. Just waiting, always just waiting until it's time to go back to bed. I've done all the usual stuff to distract myself but my brain seems set on moping around today - I guess it's just one of those days & I just gotta get through it but I hate these days.

It's days like these that I beat myself up the most - I know I'm being silly, I know people don't mean anything by not responding to that last comment - something came up or the convo is finished in their eyes or they just didn't see the message until way later. I know my few friends would love a phone call for a chat but it's been so long, I don't know how to even begin a general chit chat type call. I know all this in my head but my brain is set in its' rut today & I can't seem to get it to jump the tracks!

Learning how to live alone is tough. There's no-one around for a quick hug or a simple good night or good morning. I alone am responsible for my happiness & today, I suck at it. I haven't had a decent hug in 2 months & it looks like another 2 months before I can feel those arms around me again. Long distance sucks too. I sure as hell didn't chose an easy path this time round did I?

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What A Week!

It all started last Sunday evening with the heat finally getting to me & stopping me from sleeping very much. Throw in some emotional self-bullying and I woke up Monday morning like a bear with a sore head! I had a dentist appointment lunchtime so luckily I didn't have to go to work until later but with the mood I was in, I emailed my boss and asked if I could just make up the time on Friday.

I have a nice boss & she said that was fine so I moped around a bit longer then headed into town to do some stuff before heading for the dentists. I have a prescription that needs filling so off I went to the chemist (pharmacy for my US readers) but there was a 20 minute wait & I didn't have time. Finally got to the dentist, only to find that I had got my weeks muddled & my appointment is next week!

Off I trundled to another chemist nearby & dug around in my handbag but I couldn't find my prescription! I'd only gone & left it in the car! Dragged myself back to the car park, got my prescription & back to the chemist I went. Oh deep joy! Another 10 minute wait only to be told that they were waiting for a delivery so I'd have to come back later.

I almost lost my temper at that point - not with anyone in particular, just lack of sleep & a very hot day driving me crazy so I headed off home & decided to have a nap. Three hours later, I finally woke up with a splitting headache which kind of finished off the day nicely for me!

You can imagine how well Tuesday went after that but to make matters worse, my drivers side front window decided to jam wide open on the way home. The electric motor was making horrible grindy noises so I left it alone & got my ex to come & have a look at it. I thought maybe some brute strength would at least get it closed so it could be secured overnight but even that failed this time. Plastic bag & tape was my only protection from car thieves that night.

Luckily, I work next door to a garage/repair shop so I dropped in there Wednesday morning. They promised to get the glass back into position & secured at least but would call me with a quote before they spent too much time on it. Somehow I got through Wednesday at work & headed back to the garage to find out the news - £180 for parts & labour but the Parts company could deliver the next day. Window taped firmly closed, I headed home, relieved that at least it would be fixed tomorrow.

Bearing in mind that the UK is having a heatwave at the moment, driving with the window closed isn't much fun! But I felt better knowing it would be fixed on Thursday so I dropped the car off before work & headed in. Thursday wasn't a bad day at work - the boss was off & the whole atmosphere was more relaxed for some reason. I think the heat is getting to everyone & sapping any energy we have for being stressed!

Back to the garage Thursday evening, only to find that the Parts company hadn't delivered the new wondow motor until late in the afternoon so now it would be Friday before they could fix it! Arrrghhh! Another hot drive home & the idiots were out in full force. One flat bed truck flew past me and as I was swearing at him for being a maniac, a stone flew off the back of the truck & hit my windscreen. I was lucky it didn't smash but the chip is about the size of a 10p (just smaller than a quarter) and is right in my line of vision. That means I can't just get it repaired, I have to have a new windscreen.

So today (Friday) I dropped the car at the garage again and after having a little chat with the front desk guy, told them to just have a quick look to see if they could work out why it's been running so rough lately. He'd mentioned it yesterday evening when I picked the car up. Anyway, my phone rang lunchtime & I thought they wanted me to pop over to pay & pick up my car. Nope! Still no luck - the Parts company had delivered the wrong motor!

So now I have to get through the weekend with a taped shut window, a big chip in the windscreen & it's still running rough too! The good news on that though is that it will only cost me yet another £180 to get the engine fixed. I have no idea how much a new windscreen will be & I can't find my insurance policy booklet to see if I'm covered.

I think all this is my car's revenge as I was looking at car adverts over the weekend, just thinking about getting a new one when my house finally sells. If I have to spend almost £500 to keep it on the road now, I may as well keep it - the rest of the car is in very good condition & I do like driving it so as long as nothing else craps out on me, I should be ok for another year or so at least!

Keep your fingers crossed please! I can't afford any more stuff breaking! lol

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Magic The Gathering - Yet Another Addiction!

Every girl needs a Dragon friend!

It's no surprise that my WoW time has been suffering lately - first I dipped into Neverwinter, then I discovered Pet Battles in WoW & now that I finally have an iPad, I've been tempted to try Magic the Gathering, thanks to the influence of my friend Cold! The poor guy has been working super heavy overtime for the last few weeks & fielding so many noob MtG questions from me, he's finally decided to start a blog called Magic The Gathering Helper! I can't wait to read more posts about it as I'm quickly getting rather frustrated with losing so often and I'm sure his posts will show me where I'm going wrong! I've only managed to open 1 new deck & about 6 new cards so far and it's driving me crazy!

It's been a busy week on Twitter too - my favorite Clown, WowProfitz has added a WoW blog directory to his site. Called the 2013 Bloggers Ultimate Directory, he's adding any genre of WoW blogs to it so if you fancy reading something different, pop over and see what takes your fancy! If you have your own WoW blog that's not included yet, you can tweet him @wowprofitz but all the info you need is in his post Introducing The Bloggers Ultimate Directory. I'm sure he would be very pleased to hear from you about your own blog or any others that you care to recommend :)

Also happening this week was the 2nd Cold's Gold Blogging carnival hosted by Selltacular - the topic this month was a random idea of mine that I sent through to him which is kinda cool. If you'd like to know what the gold bloggers think about 'What makes a good gold maker?' you can find all the carnival post entries on his blog Copper to Gold.

And last but not least, the return of Stede to the gold making blogosphere! Stede was one of the very first few commenters on my own Auction House Addict blog over 2 years ago. His old blog was always one of my favorites to read at that time & although he has never really been away from gold making, being an active member of The Consortium and a cohost on Call To Auction podcast, he's also started a new blog this week! He's called it Late Night With Stede and already has a mini podcast episode up too! I'm really looking forward to what else he may have planned for this new blog.

So lots of new things to see & read this week and all from people on my Twitter feed - I told you Twitter was busy! There has been loads of other stuff going on, blog posts I retweet from other friends and I apologise to those who I wasn't able to include here but my blog roll has lots of new posts in it too so go check them out if you have time!

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Flight of Fancy - Silly Ideas for Micro-transactions in WoW

The big news last week was a datamined snippet of a potion/elixir that you would be able to buy at the in-game store which gave a 100% XP boost. Apparently it was confirmed today but only for the Asian markets but that hasn't stopped lots of people from talking about micro-transactions & in-game stores and the eventual decline of WoW to a free to play game!

I'm not too worried about all that to be honest but I did have a few stray thoughts as to what Blizzard might put in this new in-game store to tempt us gullible players into parting with even more cash! I'm sure they would include the existing pets & mounts which would make it even easier to splurge on them. Currently I think I've only bought maybe 1 mount & 1 pet & that was for a giveaway on my other blog but if it was easy access in-game, I think I'd find it harder to resist!

So here's my list of ideas so far - some old favorites that would be a perfect way for Blizzard to keep lots of people happy & some silly ones too :)

• Good old armor dye packs - perfect for when you can't find that purple cloak to match the rest of your transmog maybe?
• Tabard bag/closet - they took the key bag away to free up some space on the toolbar so maybe the tabard bag could be an extra slot in your bank that just accepts tabards & doesn't cost a lot of gold like Void Storage does!
• Transformation potions - there are loads of nifty gadgets & baubles in game that let you change your appearance temporarily - some for 30 seconds & some for 3-5 minutes but most break when spell casting. Wouldn't it be fun to transform for say 1 hour & not have it break for any reason? Probably my favourite is the Super Simian Sphere but there's also Orb of Deception & Orb of Sin'dorei, a Time-Lost Figurine, Bones of Transformation & of course the Savory Deviate Delight too, just to name a few. Most are rare drops so having a 10-15 minute potion available could be a fun vanity item. 
• Outfits for pets, saddles/bridles etc for mounts - don't need storage - just a drop down list of what you have & you click to select. Little tabards, head decor, maybe themed for time of year or in game festivals or even famous sports teams maybe?
• Portal stones - like the ones you can grow on the farm but more useful! I'd say these would sell well especially if they went to more remote places & not necessarily to major cities - bit like the engineering wormhole generators perhaps.
• Buy a lvl 90 but only of a class you already have at max level - part of the hassle of changing server is either paying to transfer or re-leveling. If you could buy a lvl 90 - in basic greens maybe - especially with the new Virtual Realms being discussed, I know I would be tempted. Make it cheaper than a transfer, race or faction change & more people will buy into it. There would obviously need to be some kinds of restrictions but if you already know how to play at level 90, why would you 'have' to level it all over again?

I'm pretty sure there will be all sorts of ideas & suggestions floating around & perhaps Blizzard will pick up on some of them, who knows. I just know it's a fun thing to speculate about & that's all it is right now. maybe in 2 years, I'll read this post & see how close I was!

What would you be tempted to buy? What would you put in the store that you think would sell well? Let me know in the comments if you'd like to :)

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Secret Projects, New Tech & More!

I Love Cuddles!

It's been a strange week here at Casa Nev - full of ups & downs as the 1 year anniversary of my breast cancer looms ever closer with my hospital check-up next week. I thought I was ok with it all but that appointment is definitely looming ever larger in my random thoughts. Not that I think there's anything to worry about but I guess I won't rest easy until I get a definite all clear again.

Been busy at work in my new job - week 3 and we had the annual auditors visit - interesting when they are asking me stuff like 'where's this invoice' and all I can say is 'see that cupboard over there?' because I have no idea yet where anything is or how things were done in the last financial year!

I started the week in WoW with more pet battles but I finally caved in and treated myself to an iPad which arrived on Wednesday. I spent most of that evening downloading new apps and logging in to my regular ones like Twitter. It was most peculiar to be sitting at my computer & responding to tweets via iPad even though I had Twitter open on my PC!

I treated myself to Netflix too so Thursday evening was the first evening since last August that I spent away from my computer desk. I actually sat on the sofa and watched some tv & played some silly games. That may sound strange but as I didn't even have a sofa until about 3 months ago & I still have no television, I haven't had many options for getting away from the PC other than to lie in bed & read or sit on the floor or something! Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all - I made my choices & I'm pretty happy with them so far.

I've also started my own improvement project - joining a gym, eating sensibly & trying to shape up a bit. Eventually I'll add giving up smoking to that list but with everything going on, I don't think right now is the best time to add nicotine withdrawal to my list! There's something else on my self-improvement list but I don't think I'm ready to share that yet - it will be the biggest step though and probably another life-changer for me.

As for my secret project, that started a couple of weeks ago & this morning was almost finalised. The end results will be made public in the next few days & I am mega-stoked to share it with you. It's been really hard keeping it to myself but I think & I hope it will be a popular move with my friends & my readers.

I'll be back to pet battling posts next time though - I'm heading in now to finish of Northrend & maybe the Cataclysm zones too before bedtime tonight! 

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