Just over two years ago, I stirred from the depths of a long dark depression, thanks in large part to the words of a wise young man in my World of Warcraft guild. He was struggling with his own demons and in my own darkness, I still managed to reach out a helping hand to him. He just needed someone sensible from outside his own little world to make sense of what was happening and of course, someone to vent to.
A little while later, I received the offer of a shoulder to cry or lean on from a relative stranger in this small blogging community. He was someone I knew of and had tweeted with on occasion but all I knew was his fearsome reputation. I think his words were along the lines of 'been there, done that, here if you need me' but they felt like a lifesaver at the time.
The first young man gave me a view of myself I'd lost along the way somewhere and he gave me hope - hope to recover and to fight this evil disease of the mind. The second man gave me some hope too but somewhere in the supportive chat, happiness started sprouting. I started to live for those late night conversations and pretty soon, the depression was just a bad memory. Happiness had moved in and looked like it was going to stay!
Then my health took a turn for the worse - I found a lump in my breast which turned out to be cancer. All my plans immediately went out the window as I faced hospital trips, tests and eventually an operation. I was super lucky though - I caught it early and they got it all when they operated so I didn't need chemotherapy or radiotherapy. I had planned to travel to visit my friend in the summer but we postponed the trip until my wound had healed. Through all of the trials, I never once looked down - I kept my eyes on those plane tickets and nothing got in my way.
Since then, my health has been fine although I had a second operation 4 months ago and will need another in the next few months. My happiness is as high as it was two years ago if not higher - every trip is better than the last and my happiness is only marred by the fact that I have to leave him to come home.
So my health is ok and my happiness is soaring - now I just have to hold on to hope - hope that this state will continue, hope that our joint hopes can be achieved and hope that bureaucratic red tape doesn't mess everything up for us. Distance & time zones suck!
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